一条归家之路

A Way Home

 

赖玉山 2004/11/6讲于万佛圣城大殿观音七心得报告

A Talk Given and Translated by Lai Yushan on November 6, 2004 in the Buddha Hall

at the Conclusion of the Guanyin Recitation Session at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas

 

2002年7月，我第一次到圣城参加禅三；同年10月，又来打观音七。时间飞快，这是第七次打观音七。

 

我一直以来对禅修比较感兴趣。当初也没有想到为了要学打坐，而跟观音菩萨修行法门结下这么大的因缘。2002年10月，我第一次诵〈普门品〉，当念到偈颂部份时，不知为什么就开始掉泪，一直到十二大愿里面的『造法船游苦海』这一观音菩萨度尽众生愿时，泪水几乎一发不可收拾。那一次，是我第二次来圣城，跟圣城住众并不很熟，所以觉得很不好意思。第二天我就学乖了，早上带了两张面纸，一张早上用，一张下午用。我每次来参加观音七的时候，我都会有这么一个准备。因为我发现，就是念〈普门品〉，或者持观世音圣号，或是在佛殿绕佛，或是听到别人诵持圣号，或是看到一些妈妈带孩子的景象，都会忽然间非常感动，而且每次都是难以预料的。每次打观音七，都有机会听到很多非常感人的故事。

 

回顾我两年的学佛心路，菩萨冥冥中帮过我很多忙。

 

2000到2002年间，我到香港工作，那时父母刚退休，我家是做生意的，早上八点一直开到晚上九点，每个星期工作六天。家父为了孩子，投资金做生意，大概已有三、四十年。所以我就为他们的退休做一些金融投资，并为他们购置一辆舒适新车。2001年911事件发生之后，我工作的公司裁员，我失去了工作。我个人的积蓄与投资，也在那场风暴里全盘泡汤。之后，因为要供父母那辆车，经济上有些困难。可是，发现有一个很奇怪的现象，每次这分期付款日期快到的时候，我为我父母安排的一些投资都会有一些分红出来，甚至是到前个星期，我正在为下一期付款在烦恼的时候，就有一张支票进来了。

 

今天下午我在佛殿时，看见有两位母亲抱着孩子，那位年轻的白人女士，她抱着一个不到半岁的婴儿。看到孩子很安祥、很幸福地睡在妈妈的怀里。那一刻，我觉得非常的感动，因为我看到那个孩子将全部的身心性命都交给他的妈妈。我之所以这么讲，是因为在诵〈普门品〉和念菩萨圣号掉泪那一刻，我感觉如同一个迷失很久的孩子，突然间醒过来，发现自己就在妈妈怀抱里?也不讲话，她就默默地、无条件地、全心的接受我！我生命里曾经有过很多起伏，我觉得过去就像在大海里面一条迷失很久的船，现在终于找到一个可以停驳的海港。也祝愿所有打七的人都如我一样，找到一条归家之路。

 

 I came to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas (CTTB) for the first time in July 2002 to attend the 3-day Chan session. In October of the same year, I came to participate in the Guanyin Session. Time flies and this is my seventh time attending the Guanyin Session.

 

Personally, my interest has always been in Chan. I never expected to develop such a deep affinity with Guanyin’s Dharma. The first time I recited the Universal Door Chapter in October, 2002, tears welled up in my eyes when we recited the verses. I kept shedding tears, and as it reached the climax, tears rolled down almost uncontrollably when we chanted one of the Bodhisattva’s twelve great vows which states that Guanyin Bodhisattva builds a Dharma-boat, sails it on the sea of suffering, and saves all sentient beings. That was the second time I visited CTTB.

 

I was still not familiar with the people here and felt uncomfortable and embarrassed to be so tearful. On the second day, I prepared two napkins—one for the morning, and another for the afternoon. I did the same for all subsequent Dharma sessions. No matter how well-prepared I was, I would always be suddenly deeply touched during the recitation, whether I was reciting the Bodhisattva’s holy name, sitting or circumambulating in the Buddha Hall, or seeing or hearing others reciting, or even seeing mothers who took their children to participate in the sessions. All of these touched me every time, unexpectedly. Also whenever I came for the Guanyin session, I had the opportunity to listen to others share their stories.

 

For the past two years, I have received a lot of invisible yet evident help from the Bodhisattva.

 

Between 2000 and 2002, I worked in Hong Kong. My parents were just retiring. We had owned a retail business in Malaysia, and for thirty to forty years my parents worked six days a week, from 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. They worked hard to provide for their children. When they retired, I did some financial investments on their behalf, and also bought a comfortable new car for them. But, after the “911 incident” in 2001, my company laid off some of its staff and I lost my job and all my investments in the turbulent time of the economy. As I still had to make payments on the car, I really ran into a difficult time. However, strangely enough, every time the installment was due, my investment gains and the money showed up. Even last week as I was worrying about how to pay the installment, my sister wrote saying that a check came from my investment, which was sufficient for this month’s installment.

 

Today, in the Buddha Hall I saw two mothers, each carrying a child while reciting Guanyin Bodhisattva’s name. A young American lady was carrying a baby of less than one year old. In the mother’s arms, the baby looked so calm and secure. In my eyes, the baby had put his entire life and his entire soul into the good hands of the mother. I related this story because at the moment I shed tears, I felt as if I were a long-lost child waking up who suddenly found himself in the arms of his mother. Although neither the mom nor the son said a single word, it was evident that the mother accepted her child wholeheartedly and unconditionally.

 

I have been through many ups and downs in the life. I always felt like a lost boat and now finally I have found a safe harbor to steer into. I sincerely wish that everyone who recites Guanyin Bodhisattva’s holy name, like myself will also find their way home.