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入世第三課 The Third Lesson Of Entering The Secular World
 
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背景色

入世第三課

THE THIRD LESSON OF ENTERING THE SECULAR WORLD

杨钊

Author Charles Yeung
Translated by Soula Lo

青年人走入社会, 希望能够自立, 要自立, 首先要解决衣、食、住、行问题,若衣、食、住、行都解决不了, 而去谋求其他问题,可以说是颠倒次序,次序颠倒就容易产生混乱;混乱则令身心不安,身心不安就容易令身体及其他方面出问题。所以,历史的案例告诉我们,人生必须按部就班,才能健康地成长。人生成长的次序,首先要立志学习,其次是能够自立,建立小康家庭,再其次是富裕起来。其中的道路应如何走,应该学习些什么?实在不是一件简单的事,在这里姑且介绍一下其中的要点,社会上千样万种知识和本领,其中最基本最重要的两种:其一为做事,其二为做人。因此人生之道首先是「处事待人」之道,至于如何处理事情,把事情办好,重要一环是学会与人沟通,与人相处,只要学会与人相处,学会与人沟通,对把事情做好,有很大的帮助。而与人相处的首要条件是学会「吃亏」,学会退一步思考问题,此正所谓「退一步海阔天空」,有许多路可以走。所以古人提醒我们,与人相处的方法是:「让他三尺也无妨」,正是「千里修书为一墙,让他三尺也无妨,万里长城今犹在,不见当年秦始皇」,内容是古代有一人家去信告知在朝廷做大官的亲戚说:邻居把与自己房子相连的公共路的地,拿去建了房子,令路窄了。在朝廷做大官的亲戚就回信告诉他们,他要占,便让他占好了,甚至「再让三尺又何妨呢?」,结果其在乡村的亲属真的把屋的围墙退后三尺,让两屋之间的路宽一点,而对方见到邻居不仅不争,反而让步;因此,他也退后三尺,令两屋之间成为一条宽阔的大路,一时成为佳话,轰动全城,至今可说亦有千年历史。

Young people entering society would hope to be independent. To be  independent, first they need to solve their issues involved with clothing,  food, residence, and transportation. If they cannot solve the issues of  clothing, food, residence, and transportation, but plan to deal with other  matters first, that would be in reverse order. Reversing the order tends to  cause chaos easily and chaos would cause unsettlement in body and mind. When  body and mind are unsettled, it could be easy to cause health problems and  other issues. So, as some cases from history have told us, life’s progress must
go in a perfect order; it should progress step by step, in order to grow up healthily.

For the sequence of life’s progress, young people first need to be resolute on learning; second, make their life independent, which includes building a family of comfortable means, and then gradually become wealthy. How to walk through these paths, and what subjects should they learn? These are not an easy task to achieve. Here are a few key points I would like to introduce to them. There is thousands of knowledge and skills in the world, but the most basic and most important subjects are these two: One is to handle tasks; another is to get along with others.

Therefore, the way of life, first, it has to be the way of  “handling tasks and getting along with others”. As for how to deal with tasks  and get things done, the most important step is to learn to communicate with  people and to get along with people. So long as we can get along with people  and communicate with them, it can help us to get things done. As for the  primary term of getting along with people, it is learning “to accept the  unfavorable situation instead of taking advantages from other people”. Learn to  take a step back to think of the issues. As the old saying said, “Take a step
back, the picture would be broader and boundless”, there are many paths  available. So the ancients remind us, the best way to get along with people is,  “Why not let him take three feet more?” which is from the old poem, “A letter  travels a thousand miles for a fence only, why not let him take three feet  more? Look at how The Great Wall still exists now, yet we do not see the first Emperor of the Qin.” This poem comes from an ancient story: Once upon a time,  there was a family that sent a letter to tell their relative who had a high  position in the court. The man wrote in his letter, “Our neighbor took the  adjacent public land and built their house on it, which made the path between  two houses even narrower.” The relative who was a high official in the court  replied, “If he wants to take the land, just let him take it. Why not let him take three feet more?” Then the man of this family in the countryside took the high official’s advice and actually moved their fence three feet back in, which made the path between two houses a bit wider. The neighbor who took the public land saw that family not only didn’t confront him with this matter, but even made a concession. Hence, he moved their fence three feet back in as well.

After that, the path between the two houses became a big road, which made a great story on everybody’s lips at the time and caused a great sensation in the
big towns; it has about a thousand year’s history by now.

在「处事和做人」的学问之中,儒家认为其中二课是必修科,其一是『大学』,其二是『中庸』, 在这里与大家再一次温习『中庸』是如何教导「做人之道」的:

In the learning of “handle tasks and get along with people”, the  Confucianists think these two lessons are required courses: one is The Great  Learning; another is The Doctrine of the Mean (two of the books from the Four  Books of Confucian philosophy). Let’s review how The Doctrine of the Mean teach  us about “the way of being a good man”:

孔子说:「我憎恶那些表面看似是好,而实在是不好的人;就好像稻田中的莠草,它搅乱了稻苗;我憎恶那些花言巧语的人,恐怕他们搅乱了道义;我憎恶那些口甜舌滑的人,恐怕他们搅乱了诚信;我憎恶那些邻国的淫声,恐怕他搅乱了雅乐;我憎恶那些黑混红的紫色,恐怕它搅乱了朱红的正色。」

Confucius said, “I loathe those who appear to be good people, but  deep down they are actually very bad ones; it’s just like the weeds in the rice  field, they would only disturb the rice seedlings. I loathe those who are full  of delicate flatteries, I am afraid they would disturb morality and justice. I  loathe those who are full of sweet talks and smooth tongues, I am afraid they  would disturb honesty and trust. I loathe those lascivious noises in the  neighboring countries, I am afraid they would disturb the righteous ceremonial  music and classical music. I loathe the purple color that is mixed by black and  red, I am afraid it will confuse others with the true color of red.”

孔子说:「君子所作所为,都是依照中庸提倡的道理和方法;小人所作所为,都是违背中庸的道理。君子实践中庸的道理,也就是时时刻刻谨守无过、不及的原则;小人做事则违背中庸的道理,因此就会没有顾忌而胆大妄为。」

Confucius said, “Gentlemen’s behavior would always follow the  principle and manners that advocates in The Doctrine of the Mean, and petty  men’s behavior always against the principle of The Doctrine of the Mean.  Gentlemen would put the principle of The Doctrine of the Mean into practice,  which means they would always obey the principle of neither more or less.  However, the petty men’s way of dealing with tasks is always against the  principle of The Doctrine of the Mean. Therefore, they are unscrupulous and  fear nothing.”

孔子说:「忠和恕是离开正道不远的,不愿意加在自己身上的东西,切勿加在别人的身上。」

Confucius said, “Loyalty and forgiveness are never far from the  righteous way. Do not do to others what you don’t want to be done to you.”

孔子说:「平常的行为注意道德操守,平时说话要小心谨慎。品德、学问有不足的地方,不敢不勉力去追求和改进。」

Confucius said, “Watch out our daily behavior, to see if it meets  morality and integrity. Be extra cautious with our daily speech. If there’s  something insufficient in our virtue and learning, we should do our best to  pursue and improve without hesitation.”

孔子说:「射箭有些像君子的作风,射不中箭靶的中心,就要检讨及反省自己的不足,而不是埋怨外间风力及阳光影响自己的成绩。」

Confucius said, “Archery is somewhat like gentlemen’s attitude, if  their arrows cannot reach to the target center, they would examine and  introspect their inadequacy, but not blaming the wind and the sunlight for  affecting the results.”

孔子说:「君子推行大道,例如仁义、忠孝之道,就好像走远路一样,必定从近处开始;又譬如登山,必定从低处开始。」

Confucius said, “Gentlemen would carry out the great way, such as  the way of Humaneness, Righteousness, Loyalty and Filial piety. It’s like  walking a long road one must start from the nearest point; it is also like  climbing a mountain one must start from a low point.”

孔子说:「以上的道理,有些人生下来就知道了,称为『生而知之』,有些人要经过学习才知道,称为『学而知之』;有些人则要在困苦之中或者在挫折之中才能领悟到其中的道理,称为『困而知之』。虽然,领悟道理的入门和方法不一样,但所明白的道理是相同的。」

Confucius said, “The reasons mentioned above, some people know it  innately, it’s called, ‘innate knowledge’; some people need to learn it, it’s  called, ‘learned knowledge’; some people need to comprehend it through  experiencing sufferings or frustrations, it’s called, ‘experienced knowledge’.  Though the gateway and methods may be different, the reasons they understand  are the same.”

孔子说:「任何事情,必须预先有准备,才会成功;没有准备,往往会失败;上台致词及演讲之前有准备,又或者先练习几遍,到时就不会「口窒」及不畅顺;做事之前先有准备就不会困难重重,行动之前先思考完备,就不会因失败而后悔自责,上路之前先有准备就不会走上绝路。」

Confucius said, “Everything needs to be prepared beforehand in  order to be successful. Without preparation, things usually would fail. Have  sufficient preparation before a speech, or practice several times beforehand,  then the speakers would not be tongue tight and rough. Have sufficient  preparation before doing something, then the tasks wouldn’t be full of  difficulties. Have sufficient consideration before action, then we would not  regret and blame ourselves for failing. Have sufficient preparation before we  set out upon our journey, we would not walk into a dead end.

君子依自己所处的位置和角色而行事,不贪慕本位以外的企求;处于富贵,行为就会合乎富贵的身份,做富贵人士本份应该做的事情,处于贫穷,行为就会做合乎贫穷身份的事情。

“Gentlemen would act in accordance with their positions and roles;  they would not dream and desire something beyond his standard. When they are in  a wealthy and high position, their behavior would meet with their status; they  would do whatever the wealthy and respectable people should do. When they are  poor, they would do everything that meet with their poor status.”

孔子说:「广博地去学习,例如道德、学问、知识、技能等;细心思考,确切地实践;没有学到绝不罢休,尚未清楚,一定寻根问底,问过明白;认真地去思考,不掌握其中的原理和规律,绝不罢休;没有在实践中去练习和运用,一定要去实践,实行不彻底绝不罢休。别人用一分力气可以完成,我用一百分的气力去做;别人用十分气力可以完成,我用千分的气力去做。如果能够实践这个原则,即使是愚笨的人,也会变得聪明,即使是懦弱的人,也会变得刚强。」

Confucius said, “One should learn all kinds of knowledge  extensively, such as: morals, cultures, knowledge, skills…etc.; One should  think carefully, and execute it precisely; one will not rest until he learns  the knowledge he wants. One will seek to the end and get to the bottom when he  does not fully comprehend. He would take serious thoughts, and will not rest  before he masters all the principles and rules. If he does not practice and use  it, he will put it into practice, and he will not rest before he achieves the  goal. If others can complete something with one percent of effort, he will put  one hundred percent effort to achieve it. If others can complete something with ten percent of effort, he will put a hundred times more effort than others. If we can truly live up to this principle, even a stupid person can be smart, and  even a weak person can be strong.”

「诗经‧卫风‧硕人篇」说:「穿了彩色的锦衣,外面加上一件罩衫。」这是因为厌恶那件锦衣的艳丽。所以,「君子之道」表面是黯淡的,(现代语称为「低调」),但会一天一天地彰明起来;「小人之道」, 表面是风光的, ( 现代语称为「好高骛远」),却会一天一天地衰败。

In The Book of Songs, Odes of Wei, the Chapter of The Great Man  said, “Wear a big overall to cover the colorful and pricy shirt.” That is  because he despises the bright color of that expensive shirt. Therefore, a  gentleman’s way is to dim the surface (the modern term is to keep a low  profile), but his brightness will manifest eventually; On the other hand, a  petty man’s way is to stay shiny on the surface (the modern term would be  craving something high and out of reach), but his glossy surface will dim eventually.


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