Chapter Two： FILIAL PIETY

父母呼，应勿缓，父母命，行勿懒。
父母教，须敬听，父母责，须顺承。
冬则温，夏则凊，晨则省，昏则定。
出必告，反必面，居有常，业无变。
事虽小，勿擅为，苟擅为，子道亏。
物虽小，勿私藏，苟私藏，亲心伤。
亲所好，力为具，亲所恶，谨为去。
身有伤，贻亲忧，德有伤，贻亲羞。
亲爱我，孝何难，亲憎我，孝方贤。
亲有过，谏使更，怡吾色，柔吾声。
谏不入，悦复谏，号泣随，挞无怨。
亲有疾，药先尝，昼夜侍，不离床。
丧三年，常悲咽，居处变，酒肉绝。
丧尽礼，祭尽诚，事死者，如事生。

前面说到处理父母的爱憎事宜，对我们而言，是相当大的考验和磨练。这种孝心的实践，不仅是须要耐心、勇气和毅力，同时也须要智慧。否则一不小心，我们可能把自己陷入危险或不合乎情、理、法的处境里，那就会导致有心孝顺，而终不孝顺了！

Above, the text discussed how we should deal with matters that our parents like and dislike, respectively. This presents a great challenge and difficulty. In order to practice filial piety, we must have not only patience, courage, and determination, but also wisdom. Otherwise, in a moment of carelessness, we may put ourselves in danger or else get caught in an unreasonable or illegal situation. Then, even though our intent was to be filial, we end up being unfilial.

这话怎么说呢？因为若为了父母的爱憎，或求之不易，或挥之不去，因而百般冒险犯难，不惜偷抢烧杀，甚至通敌辱国。这小则伤身败命，大则足以毁家亡国；不但遗父母以忧虑，更令人讥笑父母于子失教，于己失德，真可谓遗臭万年了！孔子说：“父母唯其疾之忧。”举凡自己身体的，心理的，甚至影响到生命的损伤，都是会令父母不安的；所以爱护自己，间接的亦孝顺了父母。

What do I mean by this? I am referring to a situation in which our parents like something very difficult to obtain, or else they dislike something which is very difficult to get rid of. In order to please them, we may risk our lives in all kinds of dangerous situations and even resort to criminal acts such as theft, robbery, arson, murder, or treason. On a small scale, we may endanger our own lives, on a larger scale, we may destroy our family and country. Not only will our parents be grieved and worried, but others will ridicule them for not teaching their child well and for lacking virtue. We will have brought upon them a disgrace that will last for tens of thousands of years! Confucius said, "Our parents’ only worry is that we may fall sick." Our parents are concerned if our bodies, minds, or lives come to harm in any way Therefore, by taking care of ourselves, we are being. filial to our parents indirectly.

孔子就这样告诉曾子：“身体发肤受之父母，不敢毁伤，孝之始也；立身行道，扬名于后世，以显父母，孝之终也。”这就是说保健自己的身心，不令父母忧虑，只是行孝的初步；要做到圆满，还得培养良好品德，进一步利益社会国家，以荣显自己的父母。

Confucius instructed Zeng Zi "Not daring to harm our bodies, hair, and skin, which our parents gave us, is the beginning of filial piety. Establishing ourselves, practicing the Way, and developing a good reputation so that our parents will be honored is the fulfillment of filial piety." That is to say, staying healthy both physically and mentally so that our parents will not worry about us is only the first step of being filial. To practice Filial piety to perfection, we must develop a good character and bring benefit to the society and nation, thus shedding glory on our parents.

假如觉得这标准太高，最低限度，我们亦得不做恶事或任何不合情理之事，以免令父母蒙羞。《圣经》上亦说:“爱是不自私……不做羞耻的事。”在中国春秋时代，晋献公因十分宠信骊姬，骊姬就想要晋献公废去世子申生，另立她自己的儿子承继王位。有一回申生送祭肉去给父亲，骊姬偷偷在肉里下毒，然后诬告世子弑父篡位；晋献公也不察清楚，气得要杀死亲生的儿子。申生想：“父亲若没有骊姬，会寝食不安。何况父亲既要他死，怎可违抗呢？”结果也不加辩白，就含冤自杀了。

If this standard is too high, at the very least we must refrain from evil deeds and unkind actions, or else we will be a disgrace to our parents. The Holy Bible says, "Love is unselfish...it is to refrain from shameful deeds." During the Spring and Autumn Period [722-481 B.C.] in China, Lord Xian of the State of Jin was infatuated with his concubine Li Ji, who wanted him to do away with his eldest son (and his heir) Shen Sheng and make her own son heir to the throne. Once when Shen Sheng sent an offering of meat to his father, Li ji secretly put poison in the meat and then accused the eldest son of trying to kill his father and usurp the throne. Lord Xian, without looking into the matter carefully, was so furious he wanted to kill his own son. Shen Sheng thought: "My father would not be happy without Li ji. If he wants me to die, how could I go against his wish?" Then, without defending himself against the unjust accusation, he committed suicide.

你说，这么为顺从父亲的心意，宁可自己去死的人，在历史上应被称叹是孝子了吧？没有！他只得了个“恭世子”的谥号。孔子评论，那是因为他只知承顺，不懂得孝道的真谛；不但伤身害命是不孝；陷父母于不义，令人唾骂他有这样不智又不慈的父亲，才更是大大的不孝呢！

Now, you would think such a person, who killed himself in order to comply with his father’s wishes would be praised as a filial child in history, right? No. He only received the posthumous title of Prince Gong (respect), and Confucius’ judgment was that while he knew how to be obedient, he didn’t understand the real meaning of filial piety. He was unfilial not only because he injured his own body and took his own life, but he put his father in a situation of being seen as unrighteous. Others scolded his father for lacking wisdom and compassion; thus he was being truly unfilial.

所以不管是对父母行欢喜施或无畏施，都要有慧，以不伤身败德为基本，不但不可以不孝，也不要太过火，而成为愚孝。宣公上人常教化人：“做人要爱国爱家爱身命。”真是深深了悟并实践孝道的圣者之言啊！

Therefore, whether we are practicing joyful giving or the giving of fearlessness to our parents, we must have wisdom. We should base ourselves on the rule of not injuring our bodies or ruining our virtue. We should not be unfilial, but on the other hand we should not go overboard and be foolish in our filial piety. The Venerable Master often taught people, "As people we should love our country, love our family, and cherish our own bodies and lives." These are the words of a sage who has profoundly understood and truly practiced the way of filial piety.