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弟子规浅释 Standards for Students 第三章﹕悌 Chapter Three﹕ FRATERNITY - 8
 
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背景色
第三章:悌

Chapter Three: FRATERNITY

兄道友,弟道恭,兄弟睦,孝在中。
财物轻,怨何生,言语忍,忿自泯。
或饮食,或坐走,长者先,幼者后。
长呼人,即代叫,人不在,己先到。
称尊长,勿呼名,对尊长,勿见能。
路遇长,疾趋揖,长无言,退恭立。
骑下马,乘下车,过犹待,百步余。
长者立,幼勿坐,长者坐,命乃坐。
尊长前,声要低,低不闻,却非宜。
事诸父,如事父,事诸兄,如事兄。

zun

zhang

qian

 

sheng

yao

di

尊贵的人

年长的人

面前

 

声音

需要

降低

honored

elder

in front of

voice

should be

to lower

在长官或长辈面前,说话的声音要降低。
When talking in front of our elders, we should lower our voice.

di

bu

wen

 

que

fei

yi

低微的

听见

 

反而

不是

合宜的

low

can not

be heard

on the contrary

is not

appropriate

但是声音低到听不清楚,却又不恰当。
But to speak so low that no one can hear us is not the appropriate way.


言语应对,也是古人很注重的启蒙教育。除了恭敬外,谈吐也要大方,音调更应高低适中;尤其要避免用尖锐拔高的音调讲话,令人感觉你在卖弄本事或争论。

In ancient times, people considered proper manners in speaking and interacting with others an important part of a child’s education. In addition to being respectful, we should speak with others in a forthright manner. We should use a moderate tone of voice, and avoid speaking in a sharp, high-pitched voice, which gives people the feeling that we are showing off or arguing.

与任何人交谈 ,若是一个劲儿地高谈阔论或喧哗嘻笑,都会予人狂妄之感;反之,若是一味嗫嗫嚅嚅、嘀嘀咕咕,又会令人看轻和不耐;至于谈话中,不时左顾右盼,更显出轻浮和无知。何况是在尊长前呢?但是如果尊长的听力不好,就必须大声讲话,但不要流于尖锐。

If we keep talking and laughing and making a lot of noise, people will feel we are hyperactive. On the other hand, if we always mumble and whisper, others will feel contempt and impatience. We should not be looking here and there as we speak, because that gives the impression of being frivolous and scatter-brained. How much the less should we do these things in the presence of our elders! If our elders are hard of hearing, we should speak loudly, but not sharply.

声调之外,还要记得配合以适当的礼仪。长辈问话时,我们如果仍坐着不起身,长辈势必得弯腰低头;这样子,不但谈话效果不佳,长辈也会感觉累,这也是不恭敬,不懂事理。

In addition to modulating the tone of voice, we ought to show the proper courtesy. If we remain seated when our elders ask us a question, they will be forced to bend down to speak to us. Not only is that a poor posture for speaking, but it will tire them out; that shows a lack of respect and understanding on our part.

所谓“趋”,是很快地小步向前走。你可能想:晋见长辈要这么走法,岂不是太矫揉造作了吗?这听起来确是奇怪 ,其实那只是真诚恭谨心的自然流露。

When we are going to meet our elder, we should approach quickly with small steps. It might seem affected, but actually it’s a way of showing our earnest reverence.

古时候的中国,民风醇厚,大部分人对父母师长 ,都有一种孺慕的心态;不但乐于效劳,亦且乐见长辈。因此晋见长辈时,生怕让长辈久等,想快,又怕大步走或跑步会惊动长辈,所以“其进也趋趋”;告退离去时,虽然依恋不舍,想留,又怕太烦扰长辈,所以“其行也迟迟”:举止进退,总是这样子小心翼翼,合情又合理。所谓“发乎情,止乎礼”,这哪里是肤浅冒失的人可以了解的呢?又哪里是虚伪拘泥的人可以学步的呢?

In ancient China, when the moral culture was well-developed, most people would regard their teachers and elders as fondly as they would their own parents. Not only were they eager to serve them, but they were delighted to see them. When they had an appointment with an elder, they didn’t want to keep their elder waiting, so they would go quickly. Yet they feared that if they took large strides or ran up to their elder, they would startle him, so they approached with quick, light steps. When it was time to leave, they could hardly bear to go, but they didn’t want to bother their elder too long, so they departed with reluctant steps. They were that cautious in every move they made, always observing courtesy and reason. They acted from their hearts, but restrained themselves with propriety. How could those who are shallow and rash understand this? How could those who are phony or rigid learn this?

我们人外在的一举一动 ,都是内在感情的反应和表达;当内在感情的反应和表达太过或不足时,就必须用礼仪来纠正和约束,使举止在合情之余,亦能合理,所以说“礼者,理也”。但是如果一味拘守礼仪,流于形式,已缺乏那份真挚的情感,那倒又不如有真情感而不懂礼仪的人了!

Our every gesture and move is a response to and an expression of our inner feelings. If those responses and expressions are excessive or deficient, they must be restrained or corrected by the rules of propriety. Then our actions will accord with courtesy as well as with reason. Propriety is itself defined as reason. However, if we adhere too rigidly to the rules of propriety and get caught up in the external form, while lacking true feeling, we are even worse than the person who has true feeling but isn’t familiar with the rules of propriety.

有很多家庭或学校的规矩也很严谨,父母师长要求孩子要做个有教养的绅士淑女;但仔细考察,你可能发觉,其实很多绅士淑女不但虚伪,而且自私自利。如何教导孩子们合情又合理,那就须要从伦理教育着手;而伦理教育,不但要开始得愈早愈好,更要父母师长以身作则。

There are many strict households and schools where parents and teachers expect children to behave like well-brought-up "gentlemen and ladies." But if you observe these children closely, you might find that many of them arc not only phony, but selfish and self-centered. To teach children to accord with courtesy as well as reason, we must start by educating them in ethics. The earlier ethical education begins, the better; what is more, parents and teachers have to be good role models.

记得有一部英国影片,描写的是在一所私立住宿高中,有位讲义气的学生,因带头反对校长对其室友的严苛态度,要被校方开除了。校长是人品高尚的绅士,以管教严格出名;不但学生敬畏他,老师也敬畏他。最后真相大白,原来是这位室友,无意中发现校长的隐私,受到校长的要胁;而校长为了掩饰自己的第一个错误,一错再错,造成很多悲剧。

I remember an English film in which the setting was a private boarding school. The protagonist was a righteous student who was going to be expelled, because he had led a protest against the principal for his harsh treatment of his roommate. The principal was a morally upright gentleman who was known for strictness. He was held in awe and respect by students and teachers alike. In the end, it turns out that the roommate had been threatened by the principal after he accidentally found out that the principal was having an affair. In order to cover up his first mistake, the principal made one mistake after another, leading to many tragedies.

先是那位懦弱的室友,不堪身心折磨而自杀;接着是一位老师辞职,因为他不愿像别的老师和学生一样,做伪证以嫁祸该学生;最后是无所适从的学生互打出手,造成学校被封锁。那学生在法庭朗读他自杀的室友的遗书时,所有的学生都哭了!遗书中有一句话:“我这么懦弱的人,一直茍且偷生,只因为我想维护我最敬爱的人。今天我勇敢地选择这样死去,实在是因为我破裂的偶像已不堪维持了!”

First the weak-willed roommate broke down under the pressure and committed suicide. Then one of the teachers resigned, because he refused to bear false witness against that student, the way the other teachers and students had done. Then the leaderless students started fighting among themselves, until the school finally had to be blockaded. When the student read the letter written by his dead roommate, all the students cried. One of the lines in the letter said, “ Being a weak person, I had continued living only because I wished to protect the person I respected the most. Today I have bravely chosen to die in this way, because my shattered idol is no longer worth protecting.”

父母师长们!如果我们希望教育子弟能诚乎其中,宜乎进退,就请以身作则,按着《弟子规》,先自我教育吧!

Fellow parents and teachers! If we wish to teach our children and students to be earnest and proper in their interactions with others, let us be good models for them. Let us first learn to follow the, “Rules for Being a Student.” ourselves.


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